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Thursday, October 1st, 2009
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9:09 pm - Hello....
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So, don't think anyone reads this any more. Livejournal has been replaced by twitter for a neverending barrage of updates rather than long boring journals.
I am currently trying to plan my wedding. Hopefully it will take place in June 2010 if I get my skates on.
Was just looking through old photos (and noseying on facebook for peoples new ones) and feeling a bit melancholy. There's some people we will invite to the wedding that I know wont turn up. They just wont. They went into their own world (understandably) and we will never see them again.
It's quite sad.
current mood:  melancholy
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| Monday, October 20th, 2008
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10:54 pm - When the truth is found to be lies.....
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And so it is with trepidation that I enter the next phase of my life. The bit leading up to 30 where I lament all the things I haven't accomplished so far and get jealous of all my friends who have, where I make pointless weight loss goals I will never get off my ass to reach, where I read about people who have done all manner of strange things and sigh a heavy and weighty sigh as it feels I will never force myself out to experience the world as they have. I shall be forever trapped in this life of mediocrity and unfulfilled dreams and half acievements and trade-offs and probably end up with a lego brick house and a moderately good car. I want to rip free from all this. But I don't want to end up with nothing. It's the trade of security for exitement and adventure and fulfillment.
Why does no one recommend books I should read? I don't want to waste time reading the ones I shouldn't.
Where is my motivation?
current mood:  discontent
current music: Jefferson Airplane
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| Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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8:55 pm - Stuff I likes......
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| Monday, July 21st, 2008
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9:40 pm - Ahoy hoy
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I'm in my mums house (again) as she's went on holiday and I'm minding it for her to look after the budgie. He's such a depressed looking budgie, with possible behavioural problems and he won't even sing along to cheesy dance pop any more. :(
I found a dress for £10 today, just hope it looks good in the light of day. I have a problem with skirts dwarfing my legs. Why is is that all high street stuff is too long/big and the petites range is just for size 6 people with no boobs? And my boobs aren't even big! You can't really go wrong for a tenner.
Urgh, I can hear Madonna in the other room...
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| Thursday, June 12th, 2008
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8:32 pm - Sadness
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I'm feeling that kind of wistful sadness you get when something you really like is finishing - in this case college. I'm more sad about leaving college than I was leaving school, mainly because college has been fun and the people there are cool and we're pretty good mates after just one year of knowing each other. They're good folks. But I was feeling a bit like *sigh* today, y'know? I'm really gonna miss it. Wish I was there for another year.
current mood: sad
current music: Alkaline Trio
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| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
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8:44 pm - More college
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I have actually realised that I don't need to do my painting cos I have the unit from last years evening class. YAY! I was getting really stressed about it. I now just have digital imaging to do an essay for and print out my images and then finish my printmaking. Oh, and I have one more darkroom print for photography and mount all my photographs and then I'm done. I have until Friday! If this were 24 there would be 3 whole seasons worth in that time - it's a long time.... :S I'm actually going to be sad to be leaving, made some pretty good mates there, I'll really miss the banter and the general pish we come out with. It's like another chapter of my life over with. Well, not really cos I'm sure I'll be drawing/painting etc for the rest of my life, once you pop you can't stop!
Next step is to start my new job, still with HSBC but at the Gyle in Edinburgh, basically resolving problems/complaints for Premier customers. I used to work in the Premier department on the phone and I will have the same boss who I really like as a person and who is actually a really hard worker and very knowledgeable which is always a massive bonus. I will keep doing art based stuff, maybe on short courses and evening classes and then hopefully I will get into a college/uni to take it further again. This year will serve to further develop my skills and also to hopefully pay off some debt. Maybe I'll do something cool with my car...... or maybe not! One thing I'll definitely be doing is seeing friends more and doing some more drinking. I've really been tight for money while I was at college which has meant I haven't been able to go out on the raz as much as I would like. Expect to see me in a pub near you soon, dolled up, face done, drink in hand! Be warned!
current music: Nirvana - Come As You Are
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| Monday, June 9th, 2008
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12:05 am - Good news everyone!
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I am going to be moving in with Gregor on 23rd June, which I'm quite excited about! I'm looking forward to just going through the whole house and making every room as live-able and cosy as possible. A womans touch methinks is required! Prior to that I have a nice relaxing holiday in oban to make up for all the craziness that will be this week. I finish college on 13th June and I have a mountain of work to complete..... why, oh why do I leave things to the last minute?? I'm such an idiot when it comes to just getting shit done!
To Do List;
* 1 small still life painting
* 2 large still life paintings
* to finish 1 landscape painting
* digital imaging essay
* studio photograph developed
* all photographs mounted
* a few prints for printmaking class
* invites for my sisters graduation party
..... all before friday! And I'm sitting here on livejournal pontificating. Is that the right word? The fact is, the college is finishing early as they are moving buildings apparently, so we don't even get an exhibition of our work this year. How pish is that? All that work and at the end you just get told to go. Charming.
Anyway, I'm off to think about painting! Hahaha!
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| Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
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12:34 am - Writer's Block: For the Day Off...
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I'm going to be preparing for an interview tomorrow. But I'm trying not to prepare too much so that I don't sound phoney.
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| Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
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11:02 pm
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So, I just got some anti-biotics for my tooth, I have avoided the pliers once again! Haha! He said that the tooth should come in ok anyway. How exciting is my journal!
I have an interview for a business banking position in HSBC in Glasgow on Tuesday. It's a grade higher than I am at the moment, because being redeployed seemed like a good reason to try and further myself. You don't ask you don't get and all that. Having said that I'm a bit worried as I'm rubbish at interviews. I tend to clam up and forget everything I should have said. And I start babbling and stuttering and pausing and going red, as is my wont! So I'm going to do lots of research and Gregor will help me over the weekend cos he's actually really good at them and maybe I'll be more confident. The good part is I'm not desperately looking right now, it's more just to see what I can get, my job doesn't move out to India until September(!) I also have another possible interview lined up at the premier part of the call centre in Edinburgh which is at the same grade as I am right now so I have a better chance of getting that one.
Also, I had no idea that gardening was so painful. I was weeding for 4 hours almost straight and I only got a tiny wee patch of Gregors front garden done cos I was trying to pull out the now useless sheets of plasticd which are supposed to stop weeds but are full of holes and weathered to the point of breaking up. Not fun. I woke up the next day and I couldn't walk without pain down the front of my thighs. My back was sore right at the kidneys bit as well and it felt a little bit like I had been kicked in the kidneys. It's gone now so I am now prepared for round two..... I'll thrash that garden!
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| Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
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12:05 am - Toothy Pegs.
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I'm, in a wee bit of pain right now, one of my wisdom teeth is coming in and giving me gyp. Is that how you spell gyp/gip? Basically I am a wuss when it comes to the dentist, I've only ever had a teensy hole filled in 23 years, but I reckon they'll have to pull this bad boy. Shite.
current mood:  sore
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| Sunday, May 11th, 2008
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7:05 pm
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About the previous post, I think the shit has just hit the fan.
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5:55 pm - Bugger
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I found out something last night which may totally change the way I see a friend. It was just a rumour, but if true it will mean that this person is lying to us and has been for some time. It also means that this person is basically going "there" with someone they definitely shouldn't be, which is totally not cool. It seem like I am going along fine and all friendships are running smoothly and then something like this happens to make me question my belief in this person and also my openness towards them. It fucks me up a little and I get really stressed and worried. If this is true, it doesn't affect me directly, but it will definitely make me more cautious of this person and I will also loose a good chunk of my respect for them. If they can lie about this, how fucked up are they in reality and have they been leading a seedy double life all this time?
current mood: disappointed
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
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9:58 pm - Boobies...
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Question, Is Keira Knightley ever fully clothed?
But anyway, I bought a sofa! How grown up am I?
current mood:  content
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| Friday, May 2nd, 2008
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3:39 pm - Thinking
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I have been thinking about the fact that we go through life once. I was thinking about the times in your life that were magic and you'll never get them back. The people you meet who were amazing but you lose touch. Doing something new has made me feel like I am starting something fresh but I still get an aching feeling sometimes when I think of the times I would like to live through again. It's a bit disappointing being 23 and feeling this way.
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2008
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8:47 pm - Aye.....
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I'm feeling totally more upbeat about not getting into college, there's always next year, and the year after, and the year after.... etc. etc.! It's not the end of the world, but I haven't given up in my head, which is another good sign that I am on the right path. I love making art (is that the right term? maybe doing art? my verbage is pish!) and I love being inspired by things around me and by other artists work. I've never felt like this about any of my other endeavours. I didn't really need proof of my commitment to this but it's nice that my brain is still telling me to go for this.
It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside...
current mood:  happy
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2008
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5:44 pm - Bad news
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I didn't get into Edinburgh College of Art. In a way I wasn't expecting to get in; I haven't been back at this for very long and when I got there all of the portfolios were better than mine. But I'm still disappointed and my confidence has taken a bit of a knock. I shouldn't say this, but I'm wondering whether trying to get into art college is a 17/18 year olds game after all..... I'll call them on Monday for the grade my portfolio got. I'm not sure if I will go to the interview for Dundee, it's so far away.... I might just work this year and go to art classes and try and apply again next year. I want to move in with Gregor anyway, so that may be the better option.... who knows?
Also received bad news from work on Wednesday, they're closing the building I work in so we are getting re-deployed elsewhere in the company or possibly made redundant in some peoples cases, so my job is a bit up in the air right now.
current mood: disappointed
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| Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
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6:58 pm
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I don't know why, but on my daily trawl of the net I came across pictures from the end of last year of jennifer love hewitt in a bikini on holiday which she felt the need to hit back at claims that she was a fat cow, basically. I was looking for these fabled pictures and managed to find them in several blogs apparently written by men saying how she is fat now and they no longer fancy her and that she is disgusting to look at. You can read them and some of the pictures here and here.
This really annoys me for many reasons, firstly, she's not "fat" she's a curvaceous woman and I'm not using thats as a euphemism for being fat. I mean, look at her boobs, they're huge! So she has the hips to match, she's hourglass. Really, if she's fat, then the rest of us stand fuck all chance do we? If Jennifer Love Hewitt can't get away with a tiny bit of cellulite then I am truly boned!
Second reason; these blogs appear to have been written by men. It annoys me when women bitch about other womens bodies, but I have accepted this as being in womens natures and this is probably the reason for the size zero thing. I hate it when I hear/read about a man critisising a womans body, especially if she just has a tiny bit extra. Where do they get off being critical of a womans body? It subscribes to the theory that some men believe women were put on this earth just to pleasure them and be pleasing to their eyes. Fair enough, JLH makes her money from her body in many ways but SHE'S NOT FAT!! They should realise that women take this stuff to heart, it's a sensitive issue, probably because society woships only beautiful women and not intelligent women. They should try walking around in speedos for a day, showing off their tiny penis/cellulite/stretch marks/excess hair/flab/no muscles and then maybe they would shut up about others bodies. Only maybe they wouldn't care cos they obviously think they're a gift to the world. That's their mums fault for not instilling enough humility in her son and pampering and babying him instead. Which is another issue for another day, but JLH has found the guy she wants to be with and I'm sure he loves her slightly fuller figure cos he isn't some fuckin fanboy going around slagging her off!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Rant.
current mood:  annoyed
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| Monday, March 31st, 2008
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12:35 am - 208
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208. My next ideal holiday would be to: Japan
207. My hair colour is: As nature intended
206. My ex was called: i don't think about any of them really, but the last one was casey
205. My favourite food is: Spag bol and custard tarts, not at the same time
204. My sexual orientation is: Straight
203. I am normally stereotyped as: quiet
202. My unshortened first name is: Rochelle
201. I wish I was called: I like my name
200. My middle names are: Maria
199. I was born on: 18th August
198. I am a: indecisive person
197. My cell phone company is: O2
196. My eye color is: Brown and green
195. My shoe size is: 5
194. My ring size is: not sure
193. My height is: 5 foot and a pinch
192. I am allergic to: nothing that I know of
191. I was born in: Rutherglen Maternity Hospital
190. I live in: Livingston
189. The last book I read: Still reading Hells Angels, Hunter S Thompson
188. My bed is: amazing
187. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: they're more romantic than they give themselves credit for, it's just not in a swooning 40's hollywood movie type of way
186. I am glad I'm my sex because: Women actually have a lot of influence in life in a few areas, but not all
179. My favorite Holiday is: So far, my holiday in Inverness with Gregor and my holiday in Paris.
178. The perfect kiss is: able to transport you from where you are and forget about it all and be locked in the moment.
177. The last three cd's I bought are: Jeff Buckley I think, can't remember the rest
176. Last song that made me cry was: god, can't remember that either
172. My most treasured possession: i don't own anything I couldn't live without when I really think about it
170. What did you do last night: Went to the Flemings house and then to the pub
167. My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): burn, then eventually tan
Here's What I Think About:
116. Abortion: I'm pro choice, but I don't think it's for me.
115. Backstabbers: Fact of life, sniff them out and then avoid them
114. Parents: Get better as you get older!
113. School: Useful and a learning experience but I'd never want to go back
Last time I:
103. Yelled at someone: I felt bad
102. Last time I hugged someone: Gregor, few minutes ago
101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: Firkins probably
MISCELLANEOUS:
89. Who makes you laugh the most: Any group of guys I am in make me laugh
87. One thing I'm mad about right now is: Not having enough money
83. The last movie I saw in the theater was: Rambo
80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received: many, many of them are unsatisfactory
79. Some things I love about the opposite sex are: Their strength
76. This summer I am: hoping to have a good time
75. The thing I will miss most when I leave home is: the free meals
74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most?: Moving in with Gregor
73. Tomorrow: I will go to work
72. Today: Has been lazy
71. Next Summer: I have no idea where I will be but I'll hopefully have moved in with Gregor and maybe be on the way to buying our own place
70. Next Week: I might know whether I get into Edinburgh College of Art.
67. People call me: Gregor's girlfriend
62. The person(s) who know the most about me is: Gregor and sometimes my mum
61. The person that can read me the best is: Gregor
60. The one thing I can't do is: wear fur, pretty abstract since I'll never be able to afford it, but it doesn't feel right to me
59. I have gotten a speeding ticket: Twice
56. My zodiac sign is: Leo
55. The first person I thought i was in love with was: This guy at school that I was infatuated with, he was really ugly and I don't know why I liked him at all, but it was just a crush really.
53. The one person who can't hide things from me: Gregor
51. Right now I am talking to: nobody
48. I have/will get a job at: Somewhere art related or working for myself
47. I have these pets: 2 gerbils, Eddie and Richie
46. I hope: My life brings me everything I want
45. The worst sound in the world : Someone being sick, I always worry and it's also disgusting
44. The person that makes me cry the most is: When Gregor is upset I cry
A FEW MISSING, AYE?
39. My boy/girlfriend: is amazing
38 Florida or hawaii: Hawaii
33. My favorite piece of clothing: My comfy dressing gown
32. My favorite sport is: Rugby
31. Last time I cried: When something bad happened a few weeks ago and I realised what I might have lost
28. The school I go to is: West Lothian College, full o neds!
27. Last person I got mad at: Probably Gregor
26. My worst drinking experience was: puking on the whole journey home from edinburgh to Falkirk, in a minibus full of people
22. The all-time best movie is: Probably Almost Famous
21. The all-time best thing in the world is: being in bed, forgetting the cares of the world, preferrably with Gregor
19. The most annoying thing ever is: people who have no courtesy
HOW YOU FEEL:
18. The most annoying person I know is: there's too many to list
17. I lose all respect for people who: are turncoats
16. The movies I have cried at are: Loads, I'm a big wuss
15. My closest friends: Gregor, quite sad really
14. TV shows you watch: QI, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, the Mighty Boosh, Have I Got News For You.
13. Favorite web site: any property website, I like to dream, and ebay
12. I want to be: .........
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: when my ear drum got perforated
10. My favorite phrase: Awesome!
9. My room has: lots of junk and some cool stuff
8. My favorite celebrity is: Johnny Depp
5. My weakness is: buying things I can't afford
4. My favorite teachers: Mr Muir, Mrs Langmuir, Mr McPartlin
3. Who broke your heart: Someone I love, a long time ago, but it's fixed now
2. I filled out 208 questions because: I was supposed to be doing something else....
1. What do you regret most? Nothing.
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| Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
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1:30 am - Things n stuff
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| Saturday, March 8th, 2008
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1:24 am - Only a couple of sleeps.....
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Hey!
Cos I'm off to Amsterdam on Monday I have been taking that as an excuse to but myself new stuff. I realised how few "going out" clothes I have, so today I bought a skirt (I know, a feckin skirt!) a grey tartan-ish pinafore, a t-shirt with funky wee robots on and some leopard print socks. I showed my stuff to my mum when I got in and I got a bit of a ripping for the pinafore. Is it really that un-fashionable? I'm going to be wearing it with funky things and accessories. Hmm.... comments on a postcard. So anyway, me and Gregor are going to Edinburgh tomorrow to shop for more bits and pieces. Hey, going away is an event for me, I've only done it once before!
I got my UCAS form off and received a very nice wee reference from my tutor. Chuffed! I finished all the writey stuff I had to do for my course, after many late nights last week, the result of which is that I felt very, very tired on Thursday night. It was the kind of tiredness that gives you a sare heid. All stuffy and crap. This seems to have worn off now.
So I'm off to watch a bit of Johnny Nice Painter and maybe play some solitaire until I beat the computer!
Bye!
current music: Pete Jackson is Getting Married - Less Than Jake
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metallic_purple's journal
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